Blinded by love, some women do not seem to notice that they always fall for the same kind of man, the wrong man, and it never works out.
WHY do we fall for the wrong man time and time again? The pattern of disastrous love happened time and time again because we do not recognize the similarities that attract us to certain types of men.
Most of the time it is not just bad luck that steers women to the wrong man time and time again. Sometimes the pattern of loser-lovers is indicative of a deeper, more serious flaw in the woman's personality or character. But sometimes the problem may stem from the woman's family history. And it is usually rooted in lack of self-esteem and lack of self-love. Too many women blindly get involved with man after man without stopping to assess what went wrong in previous relationships.
Some women don't realize that they cannot control relationships or the actions of another person. You can't make a man do one thing or another. You can't make a man love you. Yes, Mademoiselle. We can't make a man love us. We keep getting into negative relationships thinking that we can change the man and make it work. We think we have that power in a relationship but we don't.
Many abused women believe they did something wrong and that is why they are abused. Women continue to select men who are all wrong for them because they are looking for the wrong qualities in a man. Far too many women consider priorities to be:
- good looks
- material assets.
- ability to give love.
- men who are flashy
- men who are players
- men who expect women to be at their beck and call but offer little in return.
Women feel that men should be strong and independent. Relationship therapists point out that when a man demands to know "where have you been?" and "what have you been doing?", women often misinterpret that as love and caring. We don't evaluate men and we make decisions without analyzing the situation to determine that such is not healthy behavior.
When a man tells you that you shouldn't do such and such a thing, we think that is love. We gravitate toward men who are strong and controlling for we have in our heads an image that that is what a man should be. That behavior supposedly indicates that a man is strong, which is supposed to be a positive quality. But it's all about control.
Yes, dearie. Admit it or not, men who are nice and polite, those who treat women with respect, often are not appreciated by women who have a fatal attraction to the wrong kind of man.
So many women continue to make bad choices in men because people in general get no education or training on how to select a suitable mate. Yes, Dear. We have no preparation for the most important area and aspect of our lives- The ability to interact and to get along with other people and other human beings.
It's no wonder people sort of stumble and fumble when it comes to the challenge of selecting a mate and maintaining personal relationships. Women should be coached on what qualities they should look for in a potential date or mate, and how to find the kind of people they are looking for.
Women seemingly are drawn to a specific character type. Until they learn what it is that keeps them boxed in, they are never going to be able to extricate themselves.
On the part of the woman, the root cause of the problem is a lack of self-esteem and a positive self-image. The woman must come to grips with who she is as an individual first, so she could free herself from this devastating pattern of unhealthy love.
- She must assess past relationships and analyze what went wrong and why.
- What part did she play in the failed relationships?
- Does she repeatedly allow herself to be used and physically or emotionally abused by the man she claims to love?
- Women also should dig deeper and do a self-inventory. They should ask themselves: Who am I really?
- What do I truly want from life, from love, from a relationship?
- What do I have to offer a man?
- Why would a man want me?
Did I mention that I never had a real boyfriend since birth? Yes, dear, I have heard personal accounts of women and even read about women falling in love again and again with the wrong guy but this story is not mine:-) But I believe that we can't live long enough to experience them all, we can learn from other people's mistakes. I, for example, wanted somebody to love me for the rest of my days here on earth, but until I dig in to my core self I think I would never find that someone who will love me unconditionally. Wish me luck, dear readers, as I tried to be a better person. Yes, like you, I am a work in progress. Let us pray for one another that we can all be happy A.S.A.P!